I’ve been a close part of my niece’s lives since their birth so it was very important for them to be a close part of my own child’s life. In lieu of the nine months of pregnancy to prepare our nieces for a new baby cousin, we took the time to prepare them for a possible adoptive cousin we were praying for. We prayed together about us becoming parents and talked about God giving us a little baby when and how He wants. When my older niece asked when I would become a mommy, I would say “When God wants me to, will you pray with me about it?” Sometimes we would pray right there, sometimes she would ask to pray, and sometimes I would say we have to wait for God to answer that prayer.
Then, boom!, we were parents! When we came home as a family of three, my nieces (and whole family) got to meet our daughter that very same day! The girls were beyond excited to see her and hold her. And show her her nursery and feed her.
In the days and weeks that followed, we answered questions and taught the terms to use. I had read and listened to advice and help in a variety of formats: books, podcasts, articles, friends who have adopted. One thing that I appreciated was saying that my baby grew in my heart and grew in her birth mother’s tummy. We explained the terms of biological and birth mother. When my nieces would ask, “Where is Maddy’s mom?” I would gently explain that “I am Maddy’s mom, and her birth mom is still in her home state.” We explained how we are our daughter’s parents. When explaining the idea of an adoption plan, we kept it simple. We would say Maddy’s birth mother knew we wanted to be parents and made a very hard decision to give her the best life possible. And when we don’t know an answer, we aren’t afraid to say, “We don’t know, but that’s how God worked it out.” The girls know these terms now and seem to understand because after two years, we don’t have to explain much. My nieces love my daughter as their little sister. Even on our Adoption Day in court, the girls promised the judge to love my daughter like a sister.
That love comes alive when they take turns picking her up like a koala. When they say “chase Daddy” and play tag. When they let her have the toy they are playing with because my daughter is still learning to share. When they ask to feed her and help take care of her. When they read to her and teach her new words. When the three of them walk together, all holding hands. When they all hug each other and make the most precious giggles I have ever heard. Recently, we were at Universal Studios and my mom let the girls pick out a toy she would buy them. My older niece picked out a plush baby Grinch and said she wanted to use her money to buy that for Maddy. Oh my heart!!
These are moments I cherish. And thank God for. I thank Him for letting me be the aunt to my lovely nieces. I thank Him for making me a mom. I thank Him each day for bringing Maddy to us and letting me be her mom. I thank Him for showing us ways to love one another. I thank Him for allowing us to enjoy life together.
I thank Him for showing us the pure love that children have. And I pray that I can always see that and have that same kind of love for others.
