Today is the day our daughter officially became legally ours! She’s been ours since we met, but now, it’s legal and we will soon have a birth certificate with her name and us as her parents.
I haven’t written a post since we first adopted our daughter. Mostly due to time and wanting to cherish every moment with our little bundle of love and joy. Partly because I haven’t wanted to say it out loud, almost like walking on egg shells, that we are officially her parents. The months leading up to Adoption Day were a little nerve-wracking for me. I was continuously amazed at what God had worked out, and while I was hopeful it would all go just fine, there’s that little creeping feeling of doubt that loomed in the back of my mind. I just pushed it away until today. I am now shouting our daughter is ours! We are her Mom and Dad!
My sister told me she was surprised to learn that I was nervous this whole time. She said she was too, but that I was playing it cool and she didn’t know. I told her that this whole thing was almost too good to be true. And you know what nugget of wisdom she came up with? “It’s too God not to be true!”
The last three months have been amazing, full of love, new experiences, learning curves, adjustments, and thankfulness. Having been heavily involved with my younger sister and brother and two nieces from their birth, I knew a lot of what to expect, so I feel like I was above average prepared for the changes. Each time I think back to the call we got about our daughter and those first few weeks, my eyes tear up at the immense happiness that brought. And since then, there have been so many awe-filled moments.
While out of town, we stayed with our cousins. They were extremely gracious hosts, helped in any way they could, kept their fridge stocked and let us borrow their truck for trips back and forth to the hospital. It was a cherished time of being together. The night we flew back home with our baby girl, our family surprised us with the nursery better than I could have dreamed of. Our daughter absolutely loves it and we love being in there with her. During Thanksgiving week, we went on a road trip up to NYC and shared some wonderful memories. My sisters threw our family a “Welcome Home Shower” with details that were only matched by all of the love shown to us by all who attended. Our first Christmas as a family of three was a dream come true. We spent New Year’s at Disney's Fort Wilderness cabins and ventured into 2020 together with our family. My 41st birthday was the best one yet, my first one as a mommy. So many lovely opportunities with our daughter, our family and lot of love.
And don’t get me started on the cuteness of my two nieces and how much they love our daughter. My six-year-old niece recently read three books to my daughter, in the same fashion that I read them, making them interactive and having her put her hands on the touch and feel parts of the page. My niece also asks a lot of deep questions, like when are we going to tell our daughter her adoption story. When she’s older, she said she wants to have a biological baby and adopt a baby and that she wants to be a great mom like me. She gives great compliments! And she is getting well acquainted with vocabulary like birth mother, adopted, biological and trusting in God. All this from a six year old! My three-year-old niece loves baby dolls and my daughter is a live baby doll to her! She loves running for her pacifier, shaking the formula mix in her bottle and feeding her, kissing her, hugging her, holding her hand and helping me change her diapers. Recently, she said she would like to help me give my daughter a bath and try helping with a poopoo diaper! The other day, my six-year-old niece asked me if I was going to have another baby and I told her we will trust in God for that. She said, but she needs a sister! And you know what the three year old niece said? She said “We are her sisters!?” Since my daughter has arrived, I have said how important it is for them to love her, not just as cousins, but as sisters and I want the three of them to be the best of friends. To hear my three-year-old niece get this concept filled my heart with joy. They love her so much, as I love them so much too!
I love reflecting back on the timing and perfected details of this journey.
I started this blog about our Journey to Parenthood and opened up for the first time about the pain of loss and desire for a child in March of 2019. Our daughter had just come into being in her birth mother’s womb within a month or two of me starting my blog. The whole time I wrote new posts about having hope in God for us to become parents, our daughter was being wonderfully and fearfully made in her birth mother’s womb.
The first miscarriage I had would have resulted in a baby being born in October 2018. Our daughter came to us exactly one year later in October 2019.
I started 2019 with kicking off my 40th birthday, knowing our last attempt at IUI didn’t work. I finished 2019 as a mom and started 2020 by celebrating my 41st with my daughter!
When my husband and I first started the paperwork process for adopting, and we learned of the high cost, I told my husband and my sister, something I felt God revealed to me. Instead of stressing about not being about to afford an adoption, I felt that there would be a couple at our church who would step in and help cover the cost of it. This was way early in the process. After going to a meeting at our church, the person in charge of the foster and adoption care ministry called me to say that there was a couple who has been looking to partner along with a couple wanting to adopt. Can you believe that their donation to our adoption account, matched by a $4,000 grant from our church, covered most of the lawyer’s fees, so much so, that we were easily able to pay the rest of balance without having to take out a loan? God is amazing. And this couple will testify that when our pastor called for those to help with this ministry, they just wanted to be obedient to God and do their part. They will forever be a part of our daughter's life.
Which just adds to our daughter's story and God’s goodness and the power of prayer and hope. I will admit, it got tough at times and sometimes I wasn’t sure if I was doing all that I should be doing or if I was doing too much. I just kept going back to trusting in God with hope and asking close family and friends for prayer.
You know the saying, life is a journey or how people say they enjoy the journey, not just the destination? This journey to parenthood had a lot packed in, and the destination of getting our daughter to be in our family was so worth it. As I write this, she’s sleeping in my arms and my fingers keep resting on the keyboard so I can just stare at her beautiful face, her tiny fingers, her peaceful breathing. My husband and I recently exclaimed how good she is at just being on the go with us. My husband hesitated to say it out loud because he didn’t want to jinx it. I said, it’s okay, we can say it as much as we want because when this phase ends, we will be grateful for what comes next.
On this next part of our journey, I hope and pray that we will have the wisdom, strength, guidance and love for our baby girl. And that I relish in each phase and enjoy each moment of our beautiful gift from God. It’s too God not to be true.
